How do you relate how precious your child is to someone else? How do you make them understand what he’s been through and how hard he’s fought before leaving him in their care?
I have butterflies in my stomach as I research daycares again and try to find a place where they will take good care of James. A place where they won’t be frustrated with him when they call his name and he doesn’t respond (sometimes I’m frustrated when he does this, how do I find a stranger who will be more patient?). A place where they will let him explore and be busy, and be ok with it when he doesn’t sit down for circle time. A place where they will understand how important and difficult weight gain is so they’ll take the time to find something he will eat at each meal and snack. A place where they will celebrate when he says “c” because he wants a drink from his cup. A place where they will hug him and love him and understand that he hasn’t been (successfully) cared for away from home yet.
James will start daycare again this week. I know he will love it. He squeals and waves his arms when a child walks past him at the park (he thinks they’re playing with him). I can’t imagine how excited he will be when he’s in a room full of two year olds. It’s the teacher of that room full of two year olds that I wonder about. When James is just another boy in her class not coming when called, screaming because he’s excited, climbing on anything he can, trying her patience in every way possible, what will she do? Her reaction will either build him up or tear him down, and it’s the one thing I can’t be certain of.
So with many butterflies and probably a few tears, I’ll drop James off at daycare this week (thankfully not until Wednesday or Thursday), and I will be holding my breath, hoping my phone doesn’t ring, and anxious to see that beaming face at the end of the day.