Holding My Breath

How do you relate how precious your child is to someone else? How do you make them understand what he’s been through and how hard he’s fought before leaving him in their care?

I have butterflies in my stomach as I research daycares again and try to find a place where they will take good care of James. A place where they won’t be frustrated with him when they call his name and he doesn’t respond (sometimes I’m frustrated when he does this, how do I find a stranger who will be more patient?). A place where they will let him explore and be busy, and be ok with it when he doesn’t sit down for circle time. A place where they will understand how important and difficult weight gain is so they’ll take the time to find something he will eat at each meal and snack. A place where they will celebrate when he says “c” because he wants a drink from his cup. A place where they will hug him and love him and understand that he hasn’t been (successfully) cared for away from home yet.

James will start daycare again this week. I know he will love it. He squeals and waves his arms when a child walks past him at the park (he thinks they’re playing with him). I can’t imagine how excited he will be when he’s in a room full of two year olds. It’s the teacher of that room full of two year olds that I wonder about. When James is just another boy in her class not coming when called, screaming because he’s excited, climbing on anything he can, trying her patience in every way possible, what will she do? Her reaction will either build him up or tear him down, and it’s the one thing I can’t be certain of.

So with many butterflies and probably a few tears, I’ll drop James off at daycare this week (thankfully not until Wednesday or Thursday), and I will be holding my breath, hoping my phone doesn’t ring, and anxious to see that beaming face at the end of the day.

4 thoughts on “Holding My Breath

  1. Alison,
    I am so loving your blog. James is going to do great at daycare. I just have the feeling that it will be great this time. Where did you pick?
    Lots of love,
    Shannon, Greg and E

  2. I know this is hard for u cause I know where u been and what a wonderful baby u have I have these same problems with cody about the stubborn and not listen sometimes he said it was the preemee in them they have had to fight so hard to live that they will have this stubborn. On them I dont know about trust a. Teacher. U r away from because I still have to remind my nurse u step back and help him not focus on ur demand u r wanting him to do because most of the. Time cody will do what is asked of him he already tries to take out the trash its cute I have to video it but here is times he in his on little world and will ignore u and it can get frustrating but as his mom and know what he been threw. I am more calm with him I have even had to call pt down cause cody was cry and.very upset over something she was try to get him tk do put like I told her put it to the side do something else then go back to that and cody will finish it for u but ur not going to make this time of the day miserable for him cause when his next of comes. He will. Already be mad and want do of or speach so I feel u anxious of not know how they will Handel him they r say if cody gets his trach out soon enough he will start school at 3 boy mommy dont know if she ready cody probably love it as long as they keep him busy wish I could help u out would love to keep James and let him and cody just rule the roost but cody doing great they cant find a puzzle he cant put make together they r really amazed at that going this week to a store here that. Sells special puzzles done got him several from their but he tired of them cause he know them so go to go try to find some that will give him.a challenge. He not much or ready if he say Bobby he want his bottle have a hard time with cup dr say it cause the trach but he drink. Out of mine if it has a straw so I got his own cup it for a adult but it has a straw so working on that sence his surgery 15 days ago he is, eating much better he just weird pasta. Or bread he ate 2slices of bread tonight. For dinner dont want the meat he is very picky with his food if he eats something 1 day it might be 4 DAY OR SO before he will eat it again u just have to be ready to try everything but there is one thing he never turns down it a biscuit with cheese. From McDonald. He loves them he want eat the hard part of the biscuit but the softness. Inside and the cheese he love he eats 1 TO 2 a day wish I lived closer so I could help u out so u wouldn’t have to worry if the lady that has ur baby is going to have to be able to handle their demands without. Stress over it I would try tk give him learning. Time at meat 2 a day then the rest is play time til their little bodies is ready for nap that something I dont sit time on I do try to make it before 2 BUT THATS SO IN DONT INVOLVE WITH HIS BED TIME WISH I BE PRAY AND WORRY ABOUT MY LITTLE. ONE PLS LET ME KNKW HOW IT GOES I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH NOW U HAVE ONE MORE STRESS WITHU AND WORRING LOVE U ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY LITTLEMAN. MISS KIM LOVES U

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