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Love in Other Words

Your words matter. Written, spoken, texts, no matter what form they take, they all matter.  The power of a kind word when your heart is hurting is immeasurable.

We’ve experienced two serious hospitalizations with James. Throughout each of them we felt an amazing outpouring of love and support from family, friends, and even strangers. I promise you that each and every message, text, and phone call we received was met with a smile. They provided a moment to exhale, to let go of the fear and worry for just a second, and feel love. It truly does give strength and comfort beyond belief to know someone cares and you aren’t alone.

I don’t always know what to say or what to do when someone I love is hurting. I’ve been guilty of saying nothing at times. The fear of saying the wrong thing and making things worse is very real. Through this experience I’ve learned no matter what it is, do something, say something. Because when nothing is said, that is noticed too.

It isn’t always easy. Words can seem empty or hollow as we figure out what to say in a tough situation. They fail at times to convey our true feelings. They are, after all, just words. It’s the person behind the words that gives them meaning. The person who took the time to say, “I’m thinking of you today,” that put a smile on my face. It’s you, your thought, your time, your words that strengthen, give comfort, and provide hope when we need it most. Words matter because they come from you.

I can’t tell you how many times I received a message exactly when I needed it most. A quick note that gave me a moment of peace. Hospital stays are tough, days are long, smiles aren’t always easy. Don’t underestimate the power of a few kind words to a hurting heart. They matter. They make you feel loved. And when you feel loved you can get through just about anything.

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6 thoughts on “Love in Other Words

  1. Hi! After reading your blog today, I felt it was time to write. I will admit, I am always one to read and pray for all of you, and I am always at a loss of what to say. I was told of your blog by my daughter. You see, I live in a small country Cajun town in Louisiana. My only child, my daughter, brave as she is, moved to Dallas and works at a wonderful hospital taking care of critical children. I call her desire to help God in the healing process a gift. I wish I was as brave as she is. She never speaks of things that are confidential to her job, but she often shares about families, children, their illnesses, situtations and how they impact HER life. She sometimes calls me after her shift crying, worried, scared, tired, all of the emotions that you as parents must be feeling as well. And she tells me of how parents, grandparents, family impact her and her prayer is that she can in some way make a scary hospital visit easier for everyone. My daughter worked Christmas Day this past 2012, and took care of a wonderful little boy and his family. She talked of him and his sweet spirit and his kind parents. She said that working Christmas Day (her first Christmas being married and away from home) was easier because of you and your sweet baby boy. Again, never saying anything that would cross the confidentality boundries. And she shares with me because she knows that I will pray for all of you and for her as well. I will never know you directly, never meet you and your beautiful family, but know that your strength and your love for your child is evident to everyone around you. My daughter saw it, felt it, and she said your son is so lucky to have you has his parents! God Bless, hugs and prayers to all of you!

    • Wow! You brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing this today. Your daughter is an amazing nurse! She has such a difficult, emotionally draining job, yet she does it with such grace, kindness, patience, and love. We knew James had the best care possible when she was there, and so did we. She made us laugh when we needed to and encouraged us when we were sad. I am truly in awe of how she manages it all so well. I’m sure she must have had a wonderful example in you. I would never for a second think she would break any confidentiality boundries, although she is welcome to share anything about James. We have been passionate from the beginning that if his story can help anyone else, even in the smallest of ways, we’re all for it. Thank you for your prayers. It means so much to us to know people are praying for our sweet boy.
      Again, thank you for sharing. You made my day!

    • I am James grandmother and I must reply and tell you what an angel you have for a daughter. She was always so professional but made us feel like we were part of a family at Childrens. I will never forget one afternoon when I was standing in the hallway ( I always “chickend out” when James needed something done) and Nicole walked by me and immediately stopped and came over to me. I am sure I had a very worried look about me. She asked if I was ok and I started to cry, she gave me a hug and said ” he’s going to be okay”. I remember saying “are you sure?’ and she smiled and said “Yes”. It gave me such comfort to hear that from her. I realize she was not his doctor but I also knew she would not have said it if she didn’t believe it. She is so dedicated to her job and always looking to learn more everyday. I am sure you are as proud of her as I am of my daughter!
      I have such respect for the nursing profession, thank God there are nurses like your daughter.

      • Debbie, thank you for the kind words about Nicole. Looks like “Debbie’s” have great girls, huh! I just wrote to Alison about Nicole’s story. I have no doubt that Alison and James will have an impact on many people going thru similar experiences. Their story is a beautiful one, and I believe there will be many many happy chapters in the future!

  2. This post is so beautiful and made me cry my 26 weeker was in the NICU for 3 months and Fridays were always our toughest days. Today is also a Friday but my preemie is now 10 months adjusted crawling all over and breaking things 🙂 the post inspired me to send a quick message to a new NICU mom.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so happy to hear that your 26 weeker is doing so well! How sweet of you to give some encouragement to another mom going through a NICU stay. NICU moms understand the most about the ups and downs and scary moments of a day in the NICU.

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